We all need a little grace (Chapter 40)

This has already come up in a few chapters (and will in a couple more), but I wanted to dedicate one chapter to a central idea of this entire endeavor: We all need a little grace for one another.

Everyone who is trying to find companionship, in whatever form that works for them, is putting themselves out there, making themselves vulnerable, and probably uncomfortable. While there are certainly scammers and people with ill intent, most of us are doing the best we can to find what we’re seeking while navigating the very real possibility of hurting someone else’s feelings. 

When two people are trying each other out, there’s a very good chance someone could end up with their feelings hurt. That’s part of the chance each of us is taking by jumping on the dating train for a ride. We’re all in some version of the same journey. So we should all be fairly qualified to empathize with one another and understand the experiences we’re each having.

Whether you meet someone and know right away it’s not to be or you find out over time that this isn’t quite right, few people know the right words to break it off without feeling some sort of remorse. The result is often clumsy and perhaps less than thoughtful. Some, fearing confrontation, will ghost. Others will delay the inevitable or fumble over the words. While a few are comfortable simply saying how they feel and letting the cards fall where they may.

We’re all different, and I can be the first to say I’ve not always done the best job of letting potential matches know that I’m not into them. There’s never been anything malicious or cold about it. Quite the opposite. Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed with guilt or scared of hurting someone’s feelings. I think many go through that, and ironically, it often makes the situation harder and perhaps more hurtful than it had to be.

Everyone on the apps is going through their own journey, and no two are exactly alike. As we all seek, I hope we can find it in ourselves to understand this isn’t easy for everyone–and, perhaps, particularly not easy for you and have a little grace for one another and maybe even help each other along. 

I know I could sure use some now and again.

God knows there’s enough division in the world right now. Perhaps this is an opportunity to make a positive impact on someone. If you’re open to it, you may even make a few lifetime friends along the way.